SCAM MACHINE

back in nyc on a monday night

Which means eating kimchi with my ex,

My roommates are drunk,

Engaging in a deposit fight with my former landlord,

Car horns a-blaring with no signs of purpose or slowing down,

My neighbors’ headboard is banging on my wall at 3AM,

Strange, blacked-out girl wanders into my apt at 4AM thinking she belongs here.

Some call this home.

i sat across from them because i thought they were sweet

I board the train. A woman is hugged and caressed by her 6-year old daughter, both of them smiling, embracing. The girl is dressed adorably in a frilly skirt, white tights, sparkly Converse and a winter hat that looks like a leopard’s head with ears on top. What a happy family—

The woman turns her face up to the light and I notice a tear sliding down her cheek. She gently pushes the child away and without warning doubles over, head in her hands, sobbing. This goes on for minutes. People are uncomfortable. The little girl tries to console her, but seeing it’s no use, also begins to cry.

The woman is eventually offered a tissue from a stranger. Despite this, she remains bent and hidden from view, droplets hitting the floor now and then. The little girl has taken her hat off, put it by her feet - a decapitated leopard. Her hands are shoved in her coat pockets, she’s leaning back, staring at nothing. Her face hardened, she looks older by years.

a sad thing i saw

The other day, Harris and I encountered a Bushwick pigeon standing on the sidewalk with its face to the wall. Just standing there, beak-on-brick, Blair Witch-style. We were baffled until we noticed that it was bleeding - it was hurt and didn’t know what to do, so it just stood there. I felt really sad for the rest of the day and considered seriously for the first time in my life about becoming a vegetarian. I don’t know why, one thing had nothing to do with the other really, and I ultimately decided not to because, try as I might, I just don’t believe eating animals is wrong. I didn’t feel right discussing it with Harris, who’s been one most of his life. A pigeon, that is.

Today I got off the subway at Bedford to get money from my bank in order to move tomorrow. I’m moving to the Morgan stop, as my former boyfriend Anders and I have broken up and, therefore, broken our lease. He’s staying in what I once dreamed would be our disco pad, and I’m moving in with two girls, one my friend Alliah from college. This situation has been awful; it was my fault, I fell for someone else - Harris - and wound up hurting the person closest to me in order to follow through with something different. To make things shittier, I’m coincidentally moving out on Anders’s birthday. I’ve never been sorrier about anything in my whole life.

So today I got off the subway at Bedford and was immediately cornered by a tan young man working for Children International who asked me my name. I looked at him, said “No - NO” and kept walking, adding something like “I’m in a hurry!” He trotted after me and before I knew it had cornered me again. “You’re not in a hurry,” he said with such confidence that it disarmed me. I allowed him to tell me about these sick children in need all over the world, the 7 year old prostitutes who wish they could be drinking from our toilets. Having turned down activists of all sorts in the past - I once told an animal rights activist “I hate animals” just to get them to leave me alone - I caved and agreed to spend $20+ a month to sponsor a child and make sure they don’t die just from having a cavity.

I went home soon after, a little anxious about the commitment since money has been extremely tight due to the move, and decided to stop somewhere to get a tomato for dinner (sandwich + martini -  I would love for that to be known as “The Sam Marine”). I passed by Ali’s bar, my favorite bar I’ve ever been to because its owner, sole bartender and head chef - Ali - is also a doctor, therapist and dear friend to anyone and everyone in need. I stopped to say hello, we chatted for a minute, he asked where I was going, and before I knew it I was leaving Ali’s with 5 ripe tomatos and a head of lettuce for nothing.

When I got home, two men across the street were arguing. One man broke a red wooden chair, grabbed one of the legs and chased the other off. At the same time, flowers and chocolates were delivered to my door. It came with a note that simply read: “Kick life in the junk.”

NYC Facts

brendanhbanks:

Sometimes you have to poop, then you see the Times Square McDonalds bathroom and you only have to pee.

(Source: bhbanks)

poor old feller

An old man sat down next to me on the L train around noon. He began rifling through his pockets, elbowing me, annoying me. When he removed a cellphone and ear buds, however, I thought happily about his kids (or even grandkids) getting him a video phone for his everyday subway commute, a little entertainment for the elderly wherever they can get it.

Occasionally he’d shift in his seat, just barely rubbing against me. “Poor old feller,” I thought, “his arthritis must be acting up.”

We were 20 minutes into the trip when I glanced over at the phone and saw a big black cock thrusting repeatedly into a woman’s vagina. He shifted in his seat again. I looked away awkwardly.